Worries of a Lazy Saturday

And so it's been a hard week. My Maths exam on Monday left me despairing for my university place. Some of the questions I managed very well, but there were a lot of questions that were awful and I felt like the examiners had something against me; somehow everything they put on the paper was something that I hadn't sufficiently revised. I now have to console myself that possibly I haven't done as bad as I thought I had, or that I can't go any lower than a grade C because that was my original mark, or that my other exam papers will pull my grade up. My last Maths exam was on Thursday and that went slightly better; I surprised even myself on some of the questions I thought I would never be able to do. I collected my prerelease material for my next English exam on Tuesday. Thankfully they didn't give us something awful like an essay. I feel up to the challenge. Today I feel drained and sweaty. I got up at 9 and saw Paul to the door (we were at my Gran's for her birthday last night, during which I asked him to stay), then took a shower and went back to bed. Later we all went to my Grandma's, and after feeling guilty for not doing any work on the prerelease material and for not drying the dishes for Grandma, I fell asleep again during the Portugal v. Iran game. Now I'm just a bundle of useless sweat and I feel worthless. It's just a phase - I feel like this often when I know I've done nothing productive at all, but then I make myself feel doubly desperate by being too tired to do anything about it. Maybe if I got off my arse I might feel better, but the odds are not favourable and the motivation seems to have evaporated with the rest of me. I asked Webster from college if he wanted to discuss the prerelease material with me in the library on Monday. We could do some research together and get some ideas down on paper. Such work is best done in pairs rather than alone. I think Webster needs a little help understanding what is required of him in the exam, so I feel like I'm doing a good deed. I also need to prepare an answer for question two of the paper, and see Mike about a Psychology essay I handed in yesterday. Busy busy. After next Wednesday, I'll be tired but glad that all my exams are over, and that I can finally relax. Perhaps then I can concentrate on my driving lessons more.

I can feel now that maybe what I need is a shower so I can wash all of today's dirt away with the guilt and feel fresher and more ready for the next few days. That doesn't sound like a bad idea.